The Yankees season has ended. Any sports fan knows that, whether or not they are a fan of the Yankees. While we (the Yankees) have only been finished for less than a week, there are a few ways this offseason can go.
THE IDEAL:
The Yankees resign Brian "Ca$hmoney" Cashman really quickly, making things run smoothly for the rest of the offseason. Carsten "Charles In Charge" Sabathia is feeling generous and doesn't opt out of his contract. This will make Yankee fans very very happy and calm their nerves. CJ "Better than Woodrow" Wilson will sign with the Yankees, bulstering the pitching staff. AJ Burnett is traded away to the Giants for cash.
Moreover, Theo "I've Never Played Baseball, But I Still Think I'm Smart" Epstein leaves the Red Sox for the Cubbies, just as free agent season starts. The Red Sox sign no considerable free agents, and are stuck with the same roster as last season.
Epstein makes the Cubbies brilliant through moves that he never thought would work with the Sox. The Cubbies win 95 games and advance to the World Series, where they lose to the Yankees in 6 games.
THE BAD: Charles in Charge opts out with the Yankees and signs with Toronto, who found some mass amount of extra money. Sabathia wins 28 games next season with the Jays, and they win the division. The Red Sox take the Wild Card. The Yankees only win 79 games, their first losing season in a long time. AJ "Black Eye" Burnett, the ace of the 2012 Yankees staff, wins 13 games with an ERA of 5.68. Michael "Forehead" Kay is still convinced run support is a real statistic.
Epstein signs a long extension with the Red Sox. Through some risky moves, the Sox end up with "Better than Woodrow" Wilson and trade John "Ugly" Lackey to Japan for a few California Rolls. The Sox win 86 games.
World Series: Seattle over Houston. They both became miraculously good.
THE LIKELY: Ca$hmoney resigns with the Yankees. Charles in Charge opts out, but the Yankees sign him to a nice contract, ensuring his Pinstriped future. AJ Burnett remains around. Jorge "Po" Posada retires. Joe "Retardi" Girardi returns, making way for another year of ulcer inducing bullpen decisions.
The Sox have a decent offseason, returning the majority of their free agents. Peter Gammons is the new General Manager.
The Cubs, equipt with new General Manager, I've Never Played Baseball, but I'm still smart Epstein, sign Albert "Fingers in" Pujols away from the Cardinals.
World Series: Phils over Yankees.
Perhaps the ideal will come true?
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