Bill "The Hoodie" Belichick
No. Just No. This isn't a possibility.
Odds of being fired: -36%
Chan "The Drawl" Gailey
The Bills look remarkably good this year, mostly due to his offensive innovation.
Odds of being fired: 1%
Rex "Turf Toe" Ryan
The Jets are struggling this year behind a bad quarterback, mediocre run game, and overrated defense. Still, after leading the Jets to consecutive championship games, he should retain his job.
Odds of being fired: 1%
Tony "Soprano" Sporano
They have no quarterback. They overpaid for Reggie "Nickname Vacated" Bush, who has continued his lack of production on the field. The defense is just regrettable. They lost to Cleveland. They still have 2 games left against the Jets, and one apiece against Kansas City and Denver. The fact that it looks like they have only 4 winnable games should tell you all you need to know.
Odds of being fired: 95%
Odds of being fired first: 60%
John "Harbaugh East" Harbaugh
Baltimore looks good this year, the odds that Steve "Breakfast Treats" Biscotti whacks Harbaugh East either before the year is over or after the year is done is arbitrarily close to 0%
Odds of being fired: 0%
Marvin "C.S." Lewis
The Bengals are outperforming everyone's expectations behind the arm of Andy "Ginger" Dalton, but expect them to lose more as the schedule gets tougher. Look at the Bengals like a good bad team: The beat the bad teams, but lose to everyone else. To be honest, it seemed like a bad idea to extend C.S. Lewis, but it looks like he's pulling another decent season out of his ass. But I feel like Bengals management has to be getting tired of this.
Odds of being fired: 12%
Mike "Omar Epps" Tomlin
The Pittsburgh Steelers are 3-2 and the Rooney family has never fired a coach. His job is safe.
Odds of being fired: 0%
"Stand" Pat Shurmur
In his first season as the Cleveland Browns head man, he has a 2-2 record. I expect him to gain another season.
Odds of being fired: 2%
Gary "Close Shave" Kubiak
Finally! The Texans are going to make the playoffs! They have an elite offense! The defense is reasonable! They don't have to deal with Peyton "Forehead" Manning! It's in the bag! As Lee "Headgear" Corso would say: Not so fast my friend! Coming off a loss to Oakland, Houston is only tied at the top of their division. They should take care of business, but an inability to win games in crunch time has become a staple of Kubiak's Texans. If they don't make the playoffs this year, it's hard to see him retaining his job.
Odds of being fired: 10%
Mike "I have a bad case of the" Munchak
Another first year coach, this one replacing Jeff "Don't text me!" Fisher, he can't lose his job. If Fisher could go 17 years with 5 playoff wins and only 2 winning records in his last 7 years, Munchak can't possibly lose his job after just one season.
Odds of being fired: 0%
Jack "Of The River" Del Rio
In his ninth year as Jacksonville head coach, his team started 1-4, he now has a losing record overall, and he only has 2 playoff appearances over his first 8 seasons. He dismissed his starting quarterback just a week before the season to go with Luke "I'm still alive, really!" McCown. He's probably gone.
Odds of being fired: 90%
Odds of being fired first: 30%
Jim "Blink" Caldwell
He has transformed a team that had a shot at going 16-0 into a team that has a shot at going 0-16 in just 2 short years. Peyton "Forehead" Manning alone shouldn't be enough to cause a team to crash that hard that fast. The Peyton factor, however, may be enough to keep Jim Caldwell his job. Even though it shouldn't.
Odds of being fired: 10%
Norv "The Norvice" Turner
In his 14th season as an NFL head coach, The Norvice has a losing record overall. After starting 4-1, however, that could all change this season. Sitting at 103-105-1 for his career, he would have to go 7-4 the rest of the way, but it could happen. That would put the Chargers in a position where they would more than likely make the playoffs (Only the 2008 Patriots and 1985 Broncos went 11-5 and missed the playoffs). Still. If any coach in the NFL could blow it, Norv is the guy. Norv is the only coach to have the first ranked offense and the first ranked defense and miss the playoffs. A.J. Smith loves the guy and will never realize how much talent has been squandered in San Diego. Still, A.J. Smith fired Marty "Hit me with your best" Schottenheimer after a 14-2 season, so sometimes you never know. For that reason, I will open up the possibility that Norv is gone after the season.
Odds of being fired: 5%
Hue "Lewis and the News" Jackson
A 3-2 start, a competitive team, and a dead owner all contribute to job security for coach Jackson. It shouldn't be offensive that Al "Skeletor" Davis's death contributes to job security. The man was insane. However, new ownership may want "their" guy to be the coach.
Odds of being fired: 10%
Todd "The Comet" Haley
2-3 is his record after opening the year 0-3 and firmly on the hot seat. The 3 teams he lost to sit at a combined 13-2 right now. The criticism seems unjustified considering where this team was just 2 short years ago. Kansas City needs to realize that Todd Haley made them relevant again, not the other way around.
Odds of being fired: 15%
John "Crazy like a" Fox
In the first year of cleaning Josh "Can I please order a" McDaniels's mess, don't expect him to be fired. McDaniels left the defense in shambles and John "Crazy like a" Fox will need some time to fix it.
Odds of being fired: 1%
No comments:
Post a Comment