One more for the road.

A quick shoutout to Bald Vinny. After years as the head of the "Bleacher Creatures", Vinny Milano has announced he will not be renewing his season tickets. Milano is best know as the leader of the "Roll Call" at every home Yankee game. His presence will be missed.

What may go down

The Yankees season has ended. Any sports fan knows that, whether or not they are a fan of the Yankees. While we (the Yankees) have only been finished for less than a week, there are a few ways this offseason can go.

THE IDEAL:
The Yankees resign Brian "Ca$hmoney" Cashman really quickly, making things run smoothly for the rest of the offseason. Carsten "Charles In Charge" Sabathia is feeling generous and doesn't opt out of his contract. This will make Yankee fans very very happy and calm their nerves. CJ "Better than Woodrow" Wilson will sign with the Yankees, bulstering the pitching staff. AJ Burnett is traded away to the Giants for cash.

Moreover, Theo "I've Never Played Baseball, But I Still Think I'm Smart" Epstein leaves the Red Sox for the Cubbies, just as free agent season starts. The Red Sox sign no considerable free agents, and are stuck with the same roster as last season.

Epstein makes the Cubbies brilliant through moves that he never thought would work with the Sox. The Cubbies win 95 games and advance to the World Series, where they lose to the Yankees in 6 games.

THE BAD: Charles in Charge opts out with the Yankees and signs with Toronto, who found some mass amount of extra money. Sabathia wins 28 games next season with the Jays, and they win the division. The Red Sox take the Wild Card. The Yankees only win 79 games, their first losing season in a long time. AJ "Black Eye" Burnett, the ace of the 2012 Yankees staff, wins 13 games with an ERA of 5.68. Michael "Forehead" Kay is still convinced run support is a real statistic.

Epstein signs a long extension with the Red Sox. Through some risky moves, the Sox end up with "Better than Woodrow" Wilson and trade John "Ugly" Lackey to Japan for a few California Rolls. The Sox win 86 games.

World Series: Seattle over Houston. They both became miraculously good.

THE LIKELY: Ca$hmoney resigns with the Yankees. Charles in Charge opts out, but the Yankees sign him to a nice contract, ensuring his Pinstriped future. AJ Burnett remains around. Jorge "Po" Posada retires. Joe "Retardi" Girardi returns, making way for another year of ulcer inducing bullpen decisions.

The Sox have a decent offseason, returning the majority of their free agents. Peter Gammons is the new General Manager.

The Cubs, equipt with new General Manager, I've Never Played Baseball, but I'm still smart Epstein, sign Albert "Fingers in" Pujols away from the Cardinals.

World Series: Phils over Yankees.



Perhaps the ideal will come true?

The most absurd letter ever and various other thoughts

So. I'm home. Back in the 518. I opened the opinion section of the newspaper here, and read the following letter.

"Girardi shouldn’t have held back ace in finale

Last Wednesday [Sept. 28], four teams had a chance to make the playoffs in the wild card races on the final night of the baseball season. Would it be the Tampa Bay Rays or Boston in the American League? The St. Louis Cardinals or the Atlanta Braves in the National?
The games themselves were epics. Most true baseball fans were channel-surfing, not wanting to miss any of the action. The Yankees were having their way with the Rays, leading 7-0, going into the bottom of the eighth inning. Then, the unlikeliest of things happened: Three Yankee pitchers imploded, as the Rays scored six runs. With a one-run lead entering the bottom of the ninth, Yankee manager Joe Girardi chose not to try to win the game. He refused to bring in baseball’s all-time save leader, Mariano Rivera, reserving him for the playoffs beginning two nights later.
Girardi’s inaction sullied the game. He owed it to baseball fans everywhere, but more importantly to the integrity of the game. You should try to win every game you play.
If Joe Girardi is not suspended by the commissioner for this insult, he should at least feel ashamed. No, this is not quite the Black Sox scandal of 1919, but it shouldn’t be minimized, either."

This is absolutely absurd. Rivalries mean nothing to this man. There is nothing quite like a good rivalry. I have literally no issues with the way Girardi handled the last game of the regualar season. In fact, I was cheering for the Rays. (See my earlier post for more on that)

However, now, I am a member of a new team, #TeamFireGirardi. Joe "Retardi" Girardi's overmanagement of the critical Game 5 was dismal. When you're spot pitching in the 3rd inning, there's no turning back. The Yankees could have won this game. Is Retardi the only one to blame? No. We can blame the "Terrible Three" of Alex "Centuar" Rodriguez, Mark "Horseface" Teixeria, and Nicholas "Nick" Swisher.

These three SUCKED. SO HARD this series. There was no need for them to bat all in a row. More often than not, it was three outs in a row. Retardi should have switched them up.

Lastly, where was Jesus "The Second Coming" Montero this series? He was non existent. What's the point of putting him on the roster if you're not going to play him? He can hit better than Russel "The Muscle" Martin, and his defense can't be THAT terrible.

All said and done, a disapointing showing for the Pinstripers. It's going to be a long winter, filled with CC Sabathia drama and NBA lockout drama.

And, the long awaited "Favorite Team Left", I'm rooting for the................. MILWAUKEE BREWERS! I dunno why. Just a change in pace. Go BrewCrew!

COLLAPSE

Greetings and salutations readers and welcome to "Nope. Chuck Knoblauch." Click here if you don't quite get the title.  It's a legitimate new blog written by two students at Syracuse University. I'm Mike. I like baseball, football and basketball. I'm a Yankees man. They're my first true love and, in all honestly, they've treated me better than women. The Yankees are always there when I need them. Always. When the Yanks aren't there, it's Knicks time. I've loved the Knicks since I was a little kid. I stuck with them through the Isiah years and we're finally reaping the rewards. On Sundays, I'm a member of the church of the New York Giants. Who needs women when the Giants will fuck you over every week.

But tonight, I have the luxury of writing about one of my favorite things in the world: watching the Red Sox lose. Needless to say, last night was one of the more glorious evenings in baseball history. Watching Jonathan "Papsmear" Papelbon blow that game last night blow the lead in the 9th inning last night was beautiful. Papsmear is arguably my least favorite player in the majors. He's turrrrrrrrrrible. Not to mention, he compared himself to God himself (A.K.A Mariano).  So yeah. Paps. Not so great.

I'm gonna be honest here, I was rooting against the Yankees all week. The more games the Rays won, the more likely the Sox wouldn't make the playoffs. Well. My dream came true. The "Best Team Evah" is not in the playoffs. It makes me smile.

Now with news coming across the wire that Terry Francona may be leaving the Red Sox, my life as a Yankee fan can be wonderful again.

Postseason preview to come later on today.